I’ve decided to revisit the goals I had set down for myself three months ago in an attempt to narrow down my plans to a coherent list rather than random notes scribbled haphazardly every which-where. Things have changed, and as predicted, my plans have morphed into a more feasible grid of the next six months (hopefully starting next Friday). Without further ado…
Primarily, this trip is all about me. It’s a solo Eurasian journey designed to test my limits, stretch my boundaries, and maybe fix me a bit. I realize it may be a bit much to ask for this trip to magically cure me of all of my insecurities and neuroses, but I work off of the theory that I’m only as broken as I let myself be. I have trouble talking to strangers because I’m given every way around doing so, so the only way to break me of my elusive habit is to force myself in a situation without such choices. Simple, though not easy. Aside from that common mind-block that I share with millions of others, I have numerous other bizarre and complicated annoyances littering my little brain that hinder me on a daily basis.
Now, I’m not a psychologist in any sense of the word, but I do have a vague idea of how the brain works. Everyone knows the brain is the control center. It controls your actions, thoughts, hormones, and every little kink in your body. It also controls itself: the control controls the controller. Working on that knowledge, it becomes a simple process to hacking your own brain–if you work to convince your brain there is no reason to fear another person for irrational reasons, you’ll start to believe it yourself. Just as you can choose to see the negative in everything over the positive, the opposite can be true as well. Averse to talking on the phone for no real reason at all? Hack your brain until you’re comfortable doing so.
So, my first end goal for this trip remains what it always has been; to come out a better, more capable person, and to no longer think of myself as broken, limping through life because I believe I can never again walk straight.
See Series: More Goals for 2012 to learn about goals 2 and 3.